What a strange time it is when all of the work of the past year goes in for external assessment! As I look around the studio I realise how attached I have become to the work and how personal it is. There is just emptiness in the studio… exactly how it was after submitting the last course work for Drawing 1.
It is so tempting to immediately sign up for the next course to fill the void but I am resisting this. I need to find out where my motivation is based. Completing the different assignments for the course programme keeps me completely centred and focused and it drives my days, almost to the exclusion of everything else. I become completely absorbed in the work and what I am learning. My thirst to learn more and to understand the creative process is very strong and these first two modules of the degree course in Painting have brought about huge changes in my understanding of the techniques involved, they have given me so much confidence and most of all have shown me what I want to achieve through this study.
So why am I pausing???? before signing up for the next course? I think I want a period of time to see where I am as an artist without any exterior forces at work. I want answers to…………….
- Is this search for personal expression coming from deep within me or am I just working for a degree?
- Am I truly beginning to see the world around me differently?
- Without the demands of the course, am I motivated to work alone with my ideas
- Where do my ideas come from – are they personal or am I drawing on an ever-present infinite source of creativity
This gap in study is good…not always comfortable but a good time to assess what I am doing and why I am doing it. What will it reveal I wonder………………………………?